The Tender Bar: A Memoir

Genre: Memoir

Book Type: Audio

Author: J.R. Moehringer

Narrator: Adam Grupper & Daniel Thomas May

Pages / Length: 384 pages / 16 hours and 16 minutes

Publisher: Hyperion; 1st edition (September 1, 2005) / Hachette Audio

Book Description:

The New York Times bestseller and one of the 100 Most Notable Books of 2005. In the tradition of This Boy’s Life and The Liar’s Club, a raucous, poignant, luminously written memoir about a boy striving to become a man, and his romance with a bar.

J.R. Moehringer grew up captivated by a voice. It was the voice of his father, a New York City disc jockey who vanished before J.R. spoke his first word. Sitting on the stoop, pressing an ear to the radio, J.R. would strain to hear in that plummy baritone the secrets of masculinity and identity. Though J.R.’s mother was his world, his rock, he craved something more, something faintly and hauntingly audible only in The Voice.

At eight years old, suddenly unable to find The Voice on the radio, J.R. turned in desperation to the bar on the corner, where he found a rousing chorus of new voices. The alphas along the bar–including J.R.’s Uncle Charlie, a Humphrey Bogart look-alike; Colt, a Yogi Bear sound-alike; and Joey D, a softhearted brawler–took J.R. to the beach, to ballgames, and ultimately into their circle. They taught J.R., tended him, and provided a kind of fathering-by-committee. Torn between the stirring example of his mother and the lurid romance of the bar, J.R. tried to forge a self somewhere in the center. But when it was time for J.R. to leave home, the bar became an increasingly seductive sanctuary, a place to return and regroup during his picaresque journeys. Time and again the bar offered shelter from failure, rejection, heartbreak–and eventually from reality.

In the grand tradition of landmark memoirs, The Tender Bar is suspenseful, wrenching, and achingly funny. A classic American story of self-invention and escape, of the fierce love between a single mother and an only son, it’s also a moving portrait of one boy’s struggle to become a man, and an unforgettable depiction of how men remain, at heart, lost boys.

Thoughts:

This was a fascinating story about J.R. Moehringer. Raised by his mother and family, this was filled with beautiful stories on his childhood and all who had a hand in raising him. It discusses his disappointment with his father, falling in and out of love, and the comfort of those who accept him.

This is going to be a movie on Amazon Prime on December 17th so I don’t want to say too much. Obviously I had to read the book before watching the movie and now I’m excited to see how the movie will be done. It is directed by George Clooney and stars Ben Affleck, Tye Sheridan, Lily Rabe, Christopher Lloyd and Daniel Ranieri, so I’m excited to watch!

Favorite Quotes:

I did this book on audio and enjoyed some of the reflections J.R. had (noted below):

🥃 While I fear that we are drawn to what abandons us, and to what seems most likely to abandon us, in the end I believe we are defined by what embraces us.

🥃 [Bud talking to J.R.] “You must do everything that frightens you J.R. Everything. I’m not talking about risking your life, but everything else. Think about fear. Decide right now how you’re going to deal with fear, because fear is going to be the great issue of your life. I promise you. Fear will be the fuel for all your success and the root cause of all your failures and the underlining dilemma in every story you tell yourself, about yourself, and the only chance you’ll have against fear. Follow it. Steer by it. Don’t think of fear as the villain. Think of fear as your guide. Your Pathfinder. Your Netti bumble.”

🥃 [Priest talking to J.R.] “ do you know why God invented writers? Because He loves a good story, and He doesn’t give a damn about words. Words of the curtain we’ve hung between Him and our true selves. Try not to think about the words. Don’t strain for the perfect sentence, there’s no such thing. Writing is guesswork. Every sentence is an educated guess, the readers much as yours. Think about that the next time you curl a piece of paper into your typewriter.”

🥃 [J.R. Reflecting on his mom.] She was an inspired liar, brilliant liar, and she was also lying to herself, which made me perceive her lies in a whole new light. I saw that we must lie to ourselves now and then, tell ourselves that we’re capable and strong, that life is good and hard work will be rewarded. And then we must try to make our lies come true. This is our work, our salvation, and this link between lying and trying was one of my mothers many gifts to me. The truth is always late just beneath her lies.

I really enjoyed this one and look forward to the movie adaptation!

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#biography #Contemporary #growth #Memoir